Changing Cultural Attitudes on Domestic Violence

By a Hmong Domestic Violence Survivor and Advocate

As a domestic violence survivor, I can honestly say that until abuse is understood by both Hmong women and Hmong men, many Hmong women will continue to say that their husbands never abuse them and many Hmong men will continue to say they have never abused their wives. Death due to physical abuse is what most of the Hmong community understands domestic violence to be, but it’s more than that. Hmong women and men need to know that death is the last stage in abuse.

Being a Hmong woman comes with lots of obligations. During a traditional Hmong marriage ceremony, the bride is given advice from clan leader, elders, and at times, the parents of the bride, on how to be a “good wife”:

• A good wife is to be exactly as her husband, because being the opposite of him will lead to conflicts in the marriage. If your husband wakes up early, so should you. If he wakes up late, so should you. Whatever he does, you are to follow. Do not talk about your marriage problems because doing so means you are degrading your own marriage. A good wife listens to her husband and is obedient.
• When a husband takes a wife, she becomes his responsibility. If she walks uphill, you are to follow. If she walks downhill, you are to follow. If you don’t control her and she errors, you cannot blame her. A good husband is patient with his wife.
• A husband and wife are to be supportive of and good to each other, and love each other so both sides of the families’ relationship remain civil.

Maintaining the name of a good wife in an abusive marriage leads to depression and shattered dreams. If a woman has children with her abuser, it is another reason to endure the abuse. No one wants a broken home for her children. There are some Hmong women that have found the strength to leave, and most of these women are labeled as terrible wives, adulterers, and bad mothers. I have not encountered one woman who walked away from her abusive husband that has not been judged or labeled. Just about every Hmong woman is at fault if she decides to leave.

When educating Hmong community about domestic violence, it is very important to convey all types of abuse. Hmong women and men need to understand that abuse comes in different shapes and forms — not just physical, but also verbal and emotional. Most Hmong women would say, my husband never abused me. He’s just mean to me in the following ways:

• He degrades me in front of other people and compares me to other women.
• He forces sex on me. He says he is my husband and that gives him the right any time.
• He tells me I am not smart enough so my opinion does not matter.
• I am only allowed to visit my parents 1–2 times per year and talk to my sisters only when he can listen.
• He checks my cell phone and my monthly billing statements.
• I am not allowed to drive. He says he will take me wherever I want to go when he has time.
• He says if I love him, I will let him do whatever makes him happy.

I know this because I lived with an abuser for over ten years and thought that the way a man loves a woman was how I was treated. It’s not until I met my current husband that I learned what love really feels like. Everyone, men and women, deserves to have this feeling; the feeling of being appreciated, respected, and most of all, valued.

Abuse should not be tolerated and people should be educated. Let’s work together to understand the different types of abuse so that we can once and for all, eliminate this issue, because abuse is not just happening in the Hmong community; it’s in every community, everywhere.

How Health Care Providers Can Fight Against Intimate Partner Violence

By Lisa James, Director of Health, and Vedalyn DeGuzman, Program Specialist, Futures Without Violence

Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence (IPV), is a health care problem of epidemic proportions. Nearly one in four women in the U.S. have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner in her lifetime.¹ Furthermore, a study found that women who talked to their healthcare provider about the abuse were four times more likely to use an intervention.²

In February of 2013, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force issued new recommendations to support screening and response to IPV — recommending that health plans provide the service. Also, new guidelines in the Affordable Care Act (ACA) which ensure that select U.S. health plans will now cover annual screening and counseling for lifetime exposure to IPV, provide the opportunity to reach thousands more women and children with preventative messages and improve the health and safety of current victims of abuse.

Health care providers are in a unique position to help victims who seek routine or emergency care. However, health care providers often miss this golden opportunity to help a victim because they are not trained to screen patients for abuse. Simply by routinely screening patients for abuse and providing them with information about harm reduction strategies and referrals, we can make an enormous difference for victims and their children. In some cases, we can save lives by addressing both the acute and the immediate consequences of IPV as well as the chronic long term health conditions associated with a history of abuse.

The new health policies offer opportunities for deeper collaborations and coalition building between health providers and domestic/sexual violence advocates, and the potential for better outcomes for women. They may also likely lead to increased demands for training, coalition building and referrals over time. Millions of women, covered by employer-sponsored insurance, the new Insurance Marketplace, and Medicaid will be eligible to receive these services.

To learn more about screening in the health care setting, please view the Health Cares About IPV: Intimate Partner Violence Screening and Counseling Online Toolkit or call the National Health Resource Center on Domestic Violence at 1-415-678-5500, or e-mail: health@futureswithoutviolence.org.


¹ Black, Michele C., Kathleen C. Basile, Matthew J. Breiding, Sharon G. Smith, Mikel L. Walters, Melissa T. Merrick, Jieru Chen, and Mark R. Stevens. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_executive_summary-a.pdf

² McCloskey LA, Lichter E, Williams C, Gerber M, Wittenberg E, Ganz M. (2006). Assessing Intimate Partner Violence in Health Care Settings Leads to Women’s Receipt of Interventions and Improved Health. Public Health Reporter. 121(4):435-444.

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Lisa James is Director of Health Care Programs at Futures Without Violence (FWV). Ms. James has collaborated with health care providers, domestic violence experts and health policy makers across the U.S. to develop statewide health care responses to domestic violence through training, health policy reform and public education. Ms. James has also worked with FWV’s international program, collaborating with leaders from non-governmental and health care organizations in Russia, Mexico, India and China to build the capacity of health systems, providers and community members to identify and help victims in reproductive health settings. Ms. James has a Master’s Degree in Women’s Studies from the University College Dublin, Ireland and a Bachelors Degree in Humanities from San Francisco State University, California.

Vedalyn DeGuzman is the Program Specialist of Health Care Programs at Futures Without Violence. Vedalyn works on several health care initiatives including the National Conference on Health and Domestic Violence which is attended by over 1,000 participants. Other initiatives involve providers from varied health settings including national educational activities with major health associations–specifically coordinating the National Health Collaborative on Violence and Abuse, a collaborative of over 25 leading national professional health associations.

Bringing Awareness to the Prevalence and Danger of Stalking

This month, the California Victim Compensation Program (CalVCP) joined with law enforcement and national organizations to observe National Stalking Awareness Month. Stalking isn’t simply unwanted attention; it’s a serious crime that affects an estimated 6.6 million Americans each year. 1 in 6 women and 1 in 19 men become victims of stalking at some point during their lifetime. Victims of stalking may be threatened, fear for their safety and suffer violence as a result of the harassment.

California law defines stalking as willful, malicious and repeated following or harassing, and making a credible threat to the safety of another person. Stalking can include:

• Repeated phone calls or hang-ups
• Unwanted letters, emails, text messages or gifts
• Following you or showing up unexpectedly where you are
• Threatening to harm you, your property, family members or pets
• Using technology to track you or access your records or private information

It’s important to report all incidents of stalking to law enforcement. Don’t downplay stalking incidents; if you feel like you’re unsafe, then you may be in danger.

Contact local law enforcement immediately if you or someone you know is being stalked. Far too often these threats can escalate into physical assault or homicide. Studies have shown that for 76% of women killed by an intimate partner, stalking was a precursor to the violence. It’s important to report all incidents of stalking to law enforcement. Don’t downplay stalking incidents; if you feel like you’re unsafe, then you may be in danger.

Stalking crimes have a large impact on our society and on victims. Victims of stalking usually need ongoing mental health treatment to cope with victimization. Anxiety, insomnia, social dysfunction, and severe depression are much higher among stalking victims. There is help to create a safety plan, get mental health help and begin the recovery process. By raising awareness of stalking, it is our hope that we can help victims to take steps to ensure safety, prevent violence and aid in the recovery process.

Resources for Getting Help!:

• If you’re in immediate danger, call 911 
• Contact a local victim advocate:
  Victim Witness Assistance Centers in California
• Create a safety plan:
  The Office of the Attorney General
• Financial assistance for crime-related costs:
  The California Victim Compensation Program, (CalVCP)
• Get a confidential address:
  Safe at Home, California Secretary of State
• More information on stalking awareness:
  the National Center for Victims of Crime’s Stalking Resource Center

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The California Victim Compensation Program (CalVCP) provides compensation for victims of violent crime. CalVCP provides eligible victims with reimbursement for many crime-related expenses. CalVCP funding comes from restitution paid by criminal offenders through fines, orders, penalty assessments and federal matching funds.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

By Julie Nauman, VCGCB Executive Officer

It is far too often that I learn of yet another domestic dispute that tragically advances into domestic violence (DV). While many reports do not show an increase in the number of DV cases, many California studies are showing an increase in the level of violence in reported cases.

Domestic violence, often referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV), occurs between two people in a close relationship and includes current and former spouses and dating partners. It can be a single episode of violence to ongoing battering and includes physical violence, sexual violence, threats and emotional abuse. The National Center for Injury Prevention and Control of the Division of Violence Prevention reports the following unsettling statistics:

• Each year, 4.8 million women fall prey to intimate partner related physical assaults and rapes.
• Each year, 2.9 million men fall prey to intimate partner related physical assaults.
• IPV resulted in 2,340 deaths in 2007. Of these deaths, 70% were females and 30% were males.

Here at CalVCP, we understand that when tragedy strikes, it can be a frightening and traumatic experience that often includes physical, emotional, or financial harm. Many victims have questions about whom they can trust and where they can go for help. When it comes to financial assistance, CalVCP may provide needed compensation to help cover treatment and other support services for victims and their families. It is imperative that victims and their loved ones know that CalVCP can help.

Just last year, our program helped nearly 14,000 domestic violence victims pay for expenses related to their crime. CalVCP provided more than $18.5 million in reimbursement costs last year covering mental health treatment, medical bills, relocation fees, income and support loss, funeral and dental expenses for those inflicted by domestic violence.

CalVCP stands firm in our commitment to do all that we can to help. During October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, many will be doing their part to raise awareness and provide tangible resources for victims. Let us encourage our friends, families and neighbors to report intimate partner violence when it is suspected.

If you suspect someone is in danger please direct them to the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), 1-800-787-3224 TTY, or www.ndvh.org.

There is hope. CalVCP can help.