From Victim to Survivor: The Path to Healing

By Christina Newby, Volunteer, Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence

While more and more people are beginning to understand that escaping a domestic violence relationship can be extremely difficult, it is also important to understand that the path to healing is equally challenging. Often, the survivor is in a state of crisis immediately following her escape. Her entire life has been turned on its head, and she is frantically searching for safety and stability. Even worse, she is trying to understand it all: “Why did I choose him? Why did he abuse me? What did I do wrong? What could I have done to make it work? How could he act like that if he said he loved me?” The questions seem endless.

Too often victims get caught up trying to fix the past. They try to understand the abuse, make sense of the abuser’s behavior. It’s normal and healthy to grieve the end of a relationship. But it’s impossible to change the past. And it’s impossible to change another person, especially an abuser.

A Victim’s Impact Statement: Let the Healing Begin

By Julie Nauman, VCGCB Executive Officer

Yesterday, the horrific ordeal that Jaycee Dugard and her family have experienced reached its final day in court—the sentencing of Phillip and Nancy Garrido. And while we have all waited for this day since news broke that Jaycee was found in August of 2009, the journey of healing for a victim goes far beyond the judicial process.

Many speculated whether or not Jaycee would make an appearance in court to address her offenders. In the end, it was her mother who spoke on her behalf, much like she did the years that Jaycee was missing. In today’s statement, Terry Probyn conveyed how Jaycee “hated every second of her 18 years in captivity” and how her “life was stolen.” It is her right to be heard, as we saw last week when another kidnap victim, Elizabeth Smart, stepped up to have final words for Brian David Mitchell.

A victim’s impact statement, delivered at the time of sentencing, is part of the healing process. It grants the victim an opportunity to articulate the pain, anguish, and financial devastation the crime has caused. Often, sadly, it’s just a family member who is left to speak of the memory of their loved ones.

Consider Elizabeth Smart as she delivered her powerful statement. Victims and survivors everywhere heard her say, “Today is the ending of a very long chapter and the beginning of a very beautiful chapter for me.” At the same time, she used the opportunity to bring awareness to the other thousands of missing children who have not made it home…yet.

We all know the Jaycee Dugard and Elizabeth Smart cases have gained international press attention, but the process for the victim is the same regardless of the scope of the crime and notoriety.

For a victim and their family, due justice can be a long and arduous journey. CalVCP understands this and is committed more than ever to assist victims through the process. This includes support for mental health and dental expenditures, funeral and burial costs as well as wage and income loss for up to five years following the date of the crime. There’s no doubt that violent crime has a long lasting financial impact on the victim and we are here to help at every step along the way.

While a victim impact statement at sentencing doesn’t close the book on what happened…it can be the unofficial beginning to a family’s healing process. And something we all can learn from. CalVCP also supports victims with this process, connecting them with advocates and offering assistance with financial loss experienced with the crime. Among the crimes covered are domestic violence, child abuse, sexual and physical assault, homicide, and robbery. CalVCP has provided over $2 billion to assist victims of crime since its inception in 1965. More information on the program can be found at calvcp.ca.gov.