Every April, the California Victim Compensation Board joins
survivors, advocates, law enforcement and others to recognize Sexual Assault
Awareness Month, and Denim Day, which is on April 29th this year.
In Fiscal Year 2018-2019, CalVCB received more than 4,500
applications from sexual assault victims and paid almost $62 million to
claimants.
Sexual assault survivors are every gender, race, age, income and
sexuality.
One outspoken survivor now works with other girls and women,
while continuing to break barriers. We are honored Preet Didbal, the former
mayor of Yuba City, shared her survival story with CalVCB.
I spent the next few hours drifting in and out of consciousness
while the doctors examined me. I felt very confused and groggy. It was during
the next several hours I learned what happened to me- I had been raped. As the
effects of Rohypnol started to wear off, I began seeing flashbacks of red and
blue police lights, shadows of bushes or trees, the reflection of glass shields
of some sort, with a mix of conversations and noises happening around me.
Although I was not completely coherent, I recognized these images and sounds,
but then I would drift off again into unconsciousness. Unbeknownst to me at the
time, this began a journey that would challenge me to my very core.
I wish I could write my story is unique, an anomaly, or a
deviation from what has become all too prevalent in many women's experiences,
but it is not. Sadly it is more commonplace than we may ever know or
comprehend. Often survivors of sexual assault trauma like mine do not report it
to the authorities because women are too afraid or ashamed to come forward.
Consequently, their stories are only shared after they die, whether as a result
of trauma inflicted by their abuser or because they find continuing life
unbearable and resort to taking their own lives. I know how many times I
contemplated taking my own life, and how close I came to doing just that. I
know how it feels to hold the knife in your hand and rationalize that cutting
your wrist is not just the only way to stop the pain, but also the best way.
When I work with women's shelters today, I hear from far too many other women
whose experiences mirror my own. If the physical violation is not traumatizing
enough, the victim shaming, cultural prejudice, and gender bias inflicted by
others only exacerbate the pain to the point of demoralization and even
dehumanization. Ostracization becomes the pathetic new normal. For so long, I
carried the physical and emotional scars inside of me and felt alone in battle.
As difficult and scary as it was to talk about, my personal healing began with
the support of strangers. People I never met before I was assaulted extended a
hand of support, or words of kindness, when no one else did. It was with this
benevolence and the repetitive words of my dad, ”one foot in front of the
other; one step at a time” that I began my healing.
My journey has not been an easy one, but I found the courage,
despite the fear, to start asking for help. Asking for and receiving support
were key steps in finding myself. None of the steps in recapturing one’s
self-worth are easy, but it is important to note that it is possible! I, a Sikh
American female, the first female in my family to go to college, who heard “no”
and “you can’t” for 40+ years and navigated countless twists and turns in my
path, was finally able to get traction in reclaiming my life and its value.
Through the love and support of others and my own hard work, I was able to
break through the stigma that a woman- sexually assaulted, brutally
scrutinized, then re-victimized by society- had little to contribute. I am a
contributor. In 2017 I became the first Sikh American woman in United States
history elected the mayor of a city.
Although I recognize the gravity of this accomplishment, I also
realize the real triumph is sharing my story with other women in hopes it will
give them aspiration, confidence, and
empowerment in their response to sexually inflicted trauma. I
continue to work with women and young girls through Redefine and Empower, as
well as serving as a Board Member of Casa de Esperanza, to instill courage,
confidence, and self-esteem. We must continue to educate and provide resources
to support, guide in healing, and restore women to ensure we do not lose any
more precious lives as a result of this horrific act of violence. Every step,
big or small, is a step toward finding the light in oneself.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I encourage everyone
to share resources and come together to help those in need.
The California Victim Compensation Board assists victims of
sexual assault. Victims can apply for reimbursement for several services,
including medical and mental health treatment, home security and relocation
assistance.
Victims, victim advocates, victim representatives and attorneys
can apply for compensation in several ways:
- Create
an application using CalVCB
Online — a secure and private portal that can be easily
accessed from a smartphone, tablet or computer.
- Contact
a local county Victim Witness Assistance Center.
- Call
the CalVCB Help Line at (800) 777-9229.
- Download
an application from CalVCB's
How to Apply page.
- E-mail
CalVCB at info@victims.ca.gov.
Victims can apply within seven years of the date of the crime.
Minor victims can apply by their 28th birthday.
